As seen on TV

Did I say I have a terrible aversion to “As seen on TV stuff”? I just realized, I lied. I remembered I have at least one item in the gadget drawer. It’s the one drawer dedicated to things used in the kitchen but can’t be classified as flat ware, knives, spatulas, or anything with a long handle on it. It has a grater/mandolin with convenient container of all the stuff you just grated , a pastry bag and tips, biscuit/doughnut cutter, a meat thermometer and an “As seen on TV” battery operated jar opener in it.
We just so happened to be shopping in a suburban shopping center and spotted “Bed Bath and Beyond moving sale. Up to 70 percent off.” A choir of angels started to sing, the sun shone brighter, and I began to see in Disney Technicolor! I was let through the pearly gates of heaven! I’m lucky my husband likes this stuff too. So we go in and find a bunch of bath towels (our color scheme). Then my husband runs around saying OOO. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. But I lock my eyes on the “As seen on TV” battery operated jar opener. $8 bucks for a $20 dollar item, 60 percent saved. 50 percent saved on bath towels! I was wooed myself by a big marketing giant. Big brand name, classy joint inside, and only found in the classiest neighborhoods. None of this includes their huge online presence. I figure we both won. I got all this great stuff and still saved about $62. So I brought the “As seen on TV” gadget home. I loaded it with batteries (probably the same maker that backed the gadget in the first place). I honestly think some of this stuff is dreamed up by the battery makers to sell more batteries. I read the distructions and realized none of my jars fit the criteria for the only jars it will open! I threw it in the gadget drawer.
Last night I went to open a glass jar of ice cream topping that I hadn’t used in weeks. It was, well, welded on. Now I could use really warm water to “melt” the sugar gluing it together. There is the damp dish cloth method and hammering on the cover until it can’t take it anymore and gives way, but (light bulb go on in the cobweb attic of my brain). I’ve the “As seen on TV” gadget waiting for me in my drawer! The jar fits all the requirements (I think). So I fit it in place and turn it on. Expecting past results, it slowly narrows its jaw like grip onto the bottle. Then the turner starts to work on the cover and goes round in circles. I ready myself for just removing it and throwing it back into the drawer. Then behold! The cover snaps off with no effort on my part! No water and drying the jar off before completely opening. No damp dish cloth to dry out. Just beautiful caramel ice cream topping.